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[secret identity]'s LiveJournal:
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| Tuesday, June 8th, 2004 | | 1:40 pm |
Working all week= having AWESOME weekends. We partied from friday night till sunday night. We saw the darkness show which was fun cause we go nice and smashed and danced and sang along like fools, went to a party, went to the orpheum and got attacked by fat scene bitches who wanted to dance with me and Jeff. Then on sunday I went water skiing and drove the boat around. My dad: "Soon, before you punch it, it's very important that everything on the boat is straight, the ski line, the motor, the bow of the boat, everything needs to be straight" my reply: "Perhaps then, I shouldn't be the one driving this vessel." I'm all giddy lately. |
| Saturday, June 5th, 2004 | | 1:27 pm |
Silver City
I hate the genre of art in which I paint. I have decided this after sitting around and lookig at my own paintings for long enough. Post-modern paintings, pop painting, multi-media..All of it falls under the same genre, and all are well deserving of my feelings of absolute disgust. Why? Because I can do it. I don't rank myself up there with some who have perfected the craft, but I have accomplished it and therefore, makes me wonder if it is legitimate. I have no training, have no talent, have no understanding of the materials I use, yet I can slop things together with a stitch or two of super glue, some scribbled lines of poetry and suddenly, I have a piece of elitist love'n scene hugg'n art trash. And I hang it proudly on my walls. I think Andy Warhol would have hated me simply because of the fact that I like the intricities of traditional art, I enjoy the hidden meanings, the symbols, it wasn't all restrictive, the impressionists broke the mold. it was art but art with more thought and planning and appreciation for what was around them. Not these billboards on canvas you see in our castles of culture called art museums. Where can I get stage blood? I need it for the movie, which has apparently been pushed back. Mainly because I left the script in my locker at work, and haven't been able to type it up... I promise you, its pretty good. Though the taping process will be somewhat akward and choppy. I think, next weekend would probably be best, since it will giv eme time to collect people/props, and talk about it and what I plan on doing, so as to get everyone on the same page as me. Current Mood:  cheerfulCurrent Music: Eels- I need some sleep |
| Thursday, June 3rd, 2004 | | 2:10 pm |
Howdy everyone. Sunday, I believe I am going to start taping one of my films. ANd so, I am putting an ad out for anyone who wants to help. I need people to do everything from hold the camera, to act, to help with props, to listen to me bitch. I am an asshole when I direct. If anyone wants to show up around my place at 11pm, we could get shit done. Depending on who we get, will decide which film I'll do, either the funnier, quirky one, or the sadistic one. We'll find out. Questions? COmments? |
| Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004 | | 9:48 am |
toast and waffles.
So besides the fact that I have been working like a dog for the past two weeks running around in this stupid training class at the hilton, I actually feel like it is more summer now then it has been since august. We had a hella fun party, and I feel like all of my friends actually have time to hang out now. I get to see jeff and amanda, travis, jackie, krista, carrie, joe, everyone, so much more then I used to, there is less drama too..everyone is so fucking happy, and that makes me fucking happy, and we are all just so fucking happy. Except jesus, who is still a little bitter about that nailing to the cross incident...hello! let it go. I had a dream about dock browns hair today. It was one of my college proffesors, and it failed me. So, i officially hate all things related to time travel. I am planning a trip to new york for anyone who wants to go up there and stay for free/reduced price, because conrad hilton is my hommie, and new york has really tall buildings and they are phalic symbols which make me oh so wet in 5 places. i love everyone. i love girl talk. i love throwing parties. |
| Tuesday, May 11th, 2004 | | 1:49 pm |
Beach MADNESS
Me, Jackie, Eric, and eric's friend Dave all decided that the beach is where we should be. at 1 am. So we drive at and immedietly begin romping about. take a piss on a lifeguard house. We disassemble lawn chairs we trash dig we lug a large metal frame chair to the top of a sand dune and make it our mountain. something about cats with switchblades and eyepatches? |
| Wednesday, May 5th, 2004 | | 3:07 am |
at the end of my rope not just a suicidal phase but from the rafters I'll drench it with some flavorless intoxicant light it ablaze face down in my pillows the thoughts of you racing i cant help remembering the anniversaries the anniversaries the purity of flesh, for a lifetime of expectation laid under your embrace, seemed a one-sided trade innocence traced by your hand turning to fists to rip it away, leaving nothing of childhood jade. at the end of my rope not just a suicidal phase but from the rafters I'll drench it with some flavorless intoxicant light it ablaze |
| 2:55 am |
i smoked to much tonight and no matter what I filled my lungs with, it couldn't fill me like your smile. i wanted to cry so much tonight, but the thought of you kept all my tears at bay and knowing that no matter what, the things done can't be revoked that the status quo we're in, is from past feelings that shouldn't have been provoked i wanted to love so much tonight and love was what I did but through the haze of misfortune i could see my heart was the only one putting forth the effort. |
| Tuesday, April 27th, 2004 | | 3:18 pm |
wow. microphone eating entertainment
Me and Jackie had a good time at the beach, what with sand castles, swimming, and thieving seagulls who shit in purses. Afterwards, we got Carrie and Eric, and ventured to the state theatre, to go see Beloved, My Chemical ROmance, and Avenged Sevenfold. We got there VEEEEEEERY late, but no big deal, we saw the end of Beloved, who was good, but then......My Chemical ROMance got on. The lead singer, was a very very fat man in a very very tiny black blazer. And everytime a guitar solo came, he would put his right hand on his hip and prance about on stage, then he would stop and scream. Needlesss to say, me and carrie were cracking up, and were attracting evil stares from all the stuck-up hardcore kids..But the breaking point came when we look up to find that the lead singer had shoved the microphone in his mouth, and began flailing his arms around while he screamed. We had to run out because we were literally doubled over in laughter. So, there was no reentry. We walked around ST Pete instead, and got some coffee, some ice cream. Went down by the beach and played in the sprinklers, then found out that shakespear in the park was playing, and watched the end of a calypso interpretation of some play, we're still not really sure which one, but it was fun to watch. And of course, to top off any night right, we saw a bum fight, which was freakin' hilarious. Good times, good times. |
| Sunday, April 25th, 2004 | | 4:07 am |
Thought running through my mind... What do straightedge kids think about using morphine or other pain killers? What about Isopropyl alchol? They use smoke to drive bees from the hive, hence they breath it in, does that make bees not straight edge? |
| Wednesday, April 14th, 2004 | | 3:21 pm |
I will marry this woman.
 This movie is the best, and we are having a pilgrimage to volume 2 friday. Everyone should join in. My life has been rather uneventful. Every date possibility isn't until like, 2 months. Cause people are gone and away and doing thins more important then cuddling with me on a couch and watching uma thurman kill 88 ninjas. Not that I'm depressed, its more of an anxiety thing. Instead of saying,"Oh, boo hoo..I'm never gonna have anybody" it's more like,"I wish I could have someone now..cause I know I will have someone eventually, they're just taking their damn sweet time. |
| Wednesday, April 7th, 2004 | | 2:55 am |
Furs! DIAMONDS!
Went thrifting, resulted in:  And girl pants, which I think I look nice in. |
| Sunday, April 4th, 2004 | | 5:36 pm |
Grragh! Says the Co-Workers!
So. I start so many entries like that. I went to state competitions. We kinko'd me a pass, and went to go see one of the main stages. I didn't know which one it was, Jackie picked it, and told me that I was too meet her at 7:45. Come to find out, it was Sugar. Also, come to find out, it was fucking awful. I've seen quite a few mainstages, and usually I'm blown away, but this one, was definetly one of the most forgetable musicals I have ever seen. The songs were less then catchy, and actually verged more on annoying, the jokes were either relying completely on sexual inneundos, which where funny, or, they were cheesey. Like interacting with the orchestra pit...WHY do directors like to add that in? It takes away from the prestige..I hate it. The actors for the most part where very good, most notably, the fatter cross dresser who romanced the old man (I can't remember his name, I told you it was forgetable) He gave his full 100%..some of the others gave less then that, and some who gave there all just didn't cut it (more then their far share of flat notes.) Yeah. Lame. But it was fun chillin' wit da high schoolers. Last Night, Me and Eric Drove out to St Pete, And saw this art/cover band show, that had this really weird DJ who strung all these songs together, they played Berlin! I was so happy. He had really good taste, I must say. We then went to this house party, which was almost ver, but took place in a gorgeous house, and then, we drove around st pete and went on adventures. One took place in a Baptist Church...:  So that was fun. I enjoy working at university. Although I just met one of my new coworkers who looks like this:  I think my theory on ugly people being able to accentuate the good features they do have has just been blown away by this oddity. Oh well..... Every rose....has it's thorn.. |
| Monday, March 29th, 2004 | | 1:10 pm |
Reasons for LIVING:   What more do you need? Besides gay marriage. Abortion quote. "It seems most people only care about the sanctity of human life while it's still inside, once it's born, they don't give a damn what happens to it." I'm gonna go to work in an hour or so. And I don't even wanna go. But that seems like a general complaint, nowadays. Things you want Can often be satisfied as a child, Cookies would do Adolescent; That shiney new bike to help you cruise the neighborhood. Things get blurred. The bells of the Church seem to ring. A toll for each hour. One less gone. One less gone. They chime. 1st grade lunch in the cafeteria One chime, ring. Trip to the beach, with family. Lying in the sand. The church bells still rang. Two chimes ring. Three chimes, four chimes. They all still ring. Blurred your vision becomes, more so then before. You can't stop the church bells. the hatred swells the things you want seem to haunt as they slip from time to time. The cookie on the shelf is much harder to reach. clock strikes twelve Twelve chimes, ring. I hope you got everything you ever wanted. |
| Sunday, March 28th, 2004 | | 11:05 pm |
 Defining moments. Being in summer camp, were importance was found in being the fastest at dodge ball. Simple. Where do you get your clothes? Have you read [book]? You don't paint? You aren't in photography? What about [band], have you heard them? Moving on is hard when you can't see the end of the road. |
| 10:52 pm |
 Thursday is writing your life story!you're more concerned with the bigger issues of life rather than high school drama. this is all well and good, but don't get so caught up in your figurative language that it seems like you're speaking Nepalese. like that's a language. Which Band Is Writing Your Life's Story? brought to you by Quizilla |
| 2:37 pm |
lately.
We were drinking the other day, and while I was standing up in the middle of the living room with my pants ripped half up to my ass [which i did to myself, intentionally] I suddenly had this experience that I can closely describe as an Out of Body Experience. I felt like everthing I was doing, every experience I had, was simply a memory of mine that I was reliving form my death bed some 40 years into the future. For this reason, It felt as If I was jumping from scene to scene, skipping and omiting certain situations because my memory had gaps in it. Whats worse is that I still get this feeling rushed at me at times when my mind is sober and unoccupied. As If time was a pre-written book that I've already read, and I'm just flipping through the chapters. And ontop of that, I'm having serious issues with my dreams. I remember every damn thing I ever dream, I have incredibly vivid dreams as I sleep, and for whatever reason, my brain has begun to think it's fun to play tricks on me. Usually, I have these absolutely absurd dreams, but now, I'm having these mundane, simple ones, that are becoming blurred with real life. Like this morning I was in a fit becuase I couldn't find the phone number to this architecture firm that I SWORE called me yesterday and offered me a job, provided I called back, until my mind cleared and I realized that the firm calling was completely fictious, and the event occured in a dream. I was also about to tell Russ that I had a conversation with his father, because, In a dream, I drove over, went to his house, and knocked on the door, only to find that russ wasn't home, so I had a delightful chat with his father. I don't even know if this kid has a father, fuck I haven't even met Russ! But for the life of me, it still feels like I was there, It's stored on the same shelf as all of concious memories, and it's starting to fuck with me, becuase I can't keep all of them straight. For the Record: Russ's Dad has a grey beard He Favors the Boston Red Socks, though he's not A Boston native. He moved to Tampa cause he hated the cold, and always wanted to have a boat, plus, there where business reasons, that fell through,a dn that he didn't really wanna get into, mainly because I think he was embarresed. Just a little something I made for my hero, Mr. Kurt Vonnegut  |
| Saturday, February 21st, 2004 | | 11:12 pm |
DAUB NOW!
Soo....me [and family] are going out on the boat tommorow, which will be fun, but for now, it means that I have to stay here for the evening. But tommorow will be an enjoyable day. LAST NIGHT! We high societly elitists went to the ever popular Seminole Gaming Casino! We discovered that Joe is an absolute addict who just couldn't stop popping money into the slot machines, only he walked away the big winner, with a ticket for 61.00 bucks! Everyone else got like a few dollars, except me, who lost 7 dollars, and didn't even have enough money to buy food at McDonoald's afterwards. I think I could've done better, if i oculd have figured out what the hell 'Daubing' was, Joe was the only one to figure it out, but apparaently as you play the slot machine, not only are you playing slots, but withing threee seconds you are also playing a game of bingo..it's so.......multitasking, and I couldn't handle it. Fo rmy birthday in october I wanna rent the presidential sweet at the top of the hard rock hotel, and gamble the night away in furs of every imaginable size, shape and softness. |
| Monday, February 16th, 2004 | | 2:11 am |
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| Sunday, February 15th, 2004 | | 6:50 am |
Happy Valentines Day
 So, I spent the entirety of my valentines evening getting utterly smashed into oblivion. I have never been that drunk before. And I still have not gotten sick. So I am glad to say that I hold my liquor well. I had a panic attack about death a little while ago. A very short one. Its not so much the idea of dieing that bothers me, it's the idea of missing all my friends, really. I don't wanna just be a memory that everyone mentions while eating buffalo wings at firehouse grill. Oh well. The Castle went well on thursday, despite fire alarms being pulled. We played spin the bottle outside for a good 2 hours, and made out with about 15 strangers.... It was unique. Evan's alarm clock just went off in the next room, it's a bunch of birds chirping. I hate it. It sounds like a fucking basket of blue jays just exploded and now they are flying around. I feel like I should have a bb gun. I myself was rather suprised to find that I wasn't all that depressed this valentines day. I mean, I was sad that I didn't ave anyone to spend it with, but it was just like any other day. |
| Thursday, February 12th, 2004 | | 7:04 pm |
Today :)
Wow, I had such a good day! It was so simple, but it was just good. I think any day can be made wonderful if taken with just the correct sense of humor. I walked into the middle of a class, that I thought was mine...And the door opened almost directly onto the stage where the teacher was, so I burst in, see 300 students looking at me and the proffesor staring at me...before turning around and crying. I also made friends with my trapper keeper...you'd be suprised how many people are just like, "Wow! You have a trapper keeper! I'll trust you." I could take the whole world over, I had 10 people talking to me in my rein class about it, it was smashing. THANKS CHRIS! Then I just came home and napped, with the blinds open, so it wasnt a solitary nap, more like a nap in the sun, which really refreshed me, and got me a good dosage of vitamin d... I'm just....happy today.. Yeah. |
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